World Cup – Sunday 13th June

Achtung Bruce

The day when you were bound to have something to smile about. Either Germany or Australia were going to lose…

Results – Sunday 13th June

  Group C: Algeria 0 – 1 Slovenia
  Group D: Serbia 0 – 1 Ghana
  Group D: Germany 4 – 0 Australia
Boycott’s Post Match Review
 The Australians only have themselves to blame. The pitch was suited to spin and they packed their attack with pace. My grandmother could have done better tonight. And the marking of the back four was dreadful! You would never have caught Bradman giving so much time and space to the opposition. The score reflects the days play and all they can do is look forward now and get some practise in the nets. They may have lost the match but there’s still a series to win.

Fixtures – Monday 14th June

  Group E: Holland vs Denmark
  Group E: Japan vs Cameroon
  Group F: Italy vs Paraguay
Gazza’s Daily Football Factoids
Bambi Ex-England manager Steve McLaren took over at Dutch side FC Twente in 2008, learned to speak the accent and went on to claim the Dutch title this season.
Mystic Ron’s World Cup Horoscope
Mystic Ron Holland against Denmark is a tasty game for all of you footy fans. It could get quite heated as these countries are astrological neighbours as well as European neighbours. The Dutch will be playing under the sign of the Tulip and the Danish manager was born in the year of the Pig so the odds have to favour a win for Holland. Also in Group E Japan and Cameroon will draw despite their different playing styles. You see there is deadlock in the house of Zen until the new moon on the 15th. Finally the Italians will beat Paraguay who are having a wretched year due to the interaction between Venus and that oh-so naughty Pluto, and the bad news is that it’s going to stay that way until July!.

England Update

Injury Report
Bones The sick bay report that Ledley King has a strained adductor muscle following last nights game. The captain says he will miss Englands next game on Friday against Algeria. It’s crazy, I have medication that will fix Green immediately, not to mention Ferdinand and Beckham but FIFA say I’m not allowed to use 25th century medicine.
Tabloid Roundup
Scum Reporter The Hand Of Clod has to go – keeper Green should never play for England again. Our boys are a national disgrace. We should have beat the yanks 6-0 as is our national right. I blame all of the foreigners in the side – Churchill would be turning in his grave. What we need now is an apology from Capello to all of our boys in Afghanistan. You can read a full impartial match review in todays Sunday Scum where there’s also an exclusive on the WAGs and waxing, including telephoto pictures of the lovelies at play on the beach and in the bathroom.

 

View from the sofa

I’ve watched a little of each of todays matches – the cooking, washing and ironing fairy failed to turn up again so I got distracted – and it was a real mixed bag. Algeria and Slovenia ran around like headless chickens for 90 minutes but without the entertainment factor. If England don’t win those games they really don’t deserve to go any further.

Serbia and Ghana on the other hand each had a little more about them and aren’t in their group to make up the numbers. Ghana won and I can see them qualifying with Germany who were – Germany. They have been crap for the past few years and yet they turned up with a mixture of new young players and wise old heads to put in an authoritative performance with more than a touch of flair. The only caviat was that Australia’s static defence and lightweight midfield made it all too easy and you wonder whether how Germans will perform against better opposition. One things for sure – they are the best team we have seen so far in the competition and in Oezil may have one of the players of the tournament.

Tomorrow we see Holland and Italy in action so there will be more of the big guns to assess shortly.