World Cup – Saturday 10th July

All Of Nothing

By my calculations there were 736 players at this years World Cup finals. Statistically that means 61 one of them will be a year older at the end of the tournament than the beginning. I suspect many more than this will feel that the World Cup has been going on for a year. Can we just have the final please?

Results – Saturday 10th July

  Third Place Germany 3 – 2 Uruguay
Post Match Review
 Everyone had been looking forward to this clash but I thought tonight I would let the fans do the talking. We have staunch German fan Fritz and Uruguayan supporter Carlos here to talk us through this exciting third place play-off match. The match was end-to-end with countless chances for both teams. Carlos, your team went a goal down but then fought back to take the lead. Did you think Uruguay were going to win at that point?

 I don’t know. I didn’t watch the game. I took the dog for a walk and when I got home I watched Uruguay’s Got Talent instead of the second half. Who won then?

 Urm, well Germany did. They showed real heart to come back after losing the lead to win. Fritz you must be very pleased with your teams performance.

 Ja, my neighbour told me we played very well. I was washing the car but he kept telling me the score.

 Well you both missed a great match. Forlan almost equalised at the end – it could all have been so different. It’s a shame you missed it.

So Carlos, who won Uruguay’s got talent then? Please tell me it wasn’t that singing Llama. That’s a complete load of rubbish but the audience seemed to love it last week.

Gazza’s Daily Football Factoids
 Did you know that most Spaniards are allergic to vegetables? While Columbus and Drake brought potatoes and exotic fruit back from their travels to new lands the Spanish explorers of the age sailed back to their King with ostrich steaks and turkey twizzlers.
Scientific Siegfried’s Rational Assessment Of Football Results
Scientific Siegfried Fussball’s komming home! Ze ladz done gut. Eine match left jetz – Spainland against Holland. For zis very komplicated prediktion I haff much thought over. Spain zey are ze favouties, no? Holland ze underhounds.

Hmmm. Tricky.

Ah – hier ist mein assessment. Ze vinners of the 2010 world mug vill be Holland! Ja – naturlich. Zey haff done just enough every time und Sontag zey vill do zis also. Die Grossen Frau sings soon!

Und dass ist alles. Mein predictive verk ist now over und I must return to ze Max Plank Institute where I am writing a paper on dust particles. Of course I couldn’t say auf wiedersehen without one last item of kuchen…

Vat else than Dutch Apfel Kuchen?

View from the sofa

What is the point? Really. After several weeks away from home two teams have narrowly failed to make the final just when they are dead beat and want to get on a plane they have to play one more match to ascertain which of them is the bigger loser. The players just want to go home and many of the supporters don’t really care.

OK, rant over. The good points.

  • The unlikely appearance at a match in South Africa between Germany and Uruguay of an England flag behind one goal with “Chesterfield” written on it.
  • The opportunity to debunk the ridiculous notion that an octopus can predict the result of a football match.
  • The sound of Suarez (the guy who cheated Ghana out of a win with his last minute hand ball) getting booed every time he was on the ball. This was the only time you could hear fans above the vuvuzelas.
  • Another chance for Joachim Lowe to show off his wardrobe. This time a fetching Mourinhoesque scarf.
  • The sight of two teams who, at last, play with free abandon because they have nothing to lose. Against all odds it turned out to be one of the most entertaining games of the tournament.

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